SHADOWS LURK OF MY PAST, FORWARD MY LOVE

I don't know why

But I always have been

Afraid of the 

Dark so 

Passionately

And once in a blue Moon

Will I really admit

That I am actually very scared of you

You

My shadow

That lurks behind me 

Analyzing my every move

Every step

Every touch

Every song I sing 

Every note that I play

Will I ever get less judgement from you

You who sighs quietly behind a titled palm

Who hears every quiet 

Wail I let go of

In the ever so endlessly less than imaginable

Darkness

Behind the eyes do I really see the figurative 

Black, inky, dark, uncompassionate, sinister, cruel

Fate of those who have no--where else to go

Except to accept

The fate of which they have brought themselves

They say to be slaughtered by a figment

Will only bring you more harm

Than an imagination controlled

So maybe my shadow isn't in my mind

Or outside my body

Lying on the floor 

Maybe it is my future

To lie in wait in the depths of my conscious

Barely awake 

Seeing the unseen

And making this world bigger than it actually is

For this world is less than a dot on paper

It is more idiotic

Than a single dot on canvas selling 

For a mere $100,000,000,000

But in the end is it only in my head

The voices

That scream at the top of their lungs for mercy

As I hear the *chop* *chop* *chop*

And the ringing of the blade as it slips out of their hand

Onto the block

The last breath slowly exhales 

Maybe oh so maybe

This is the end for me

But 

As I wake up

I am reminded that the death that I seek

Is not in the ground

Or in fire

Or in a tube waiting for my next life

It is to be aware of myself without my other half

This shadow that I call a 

Foe, enemy, scandal

This is for sure my 

Reincarnation, my sister, my life

For without it 

I couldn't have over--come the hardships I have faced

This death is painless

But for now

It is painful 

Because I must leave you for the next

World of unimaginable fates to unravel

Sayonara, farewell

For this is not the end or the next

It is and for always be in the back of your head

The shadow for which you are terrified of 

Is the past you

In a different time frame

Of different memories

Or a different life

This is you but different, changed, annulled

For you are an entity that has an “old soul”

And you are soulless 

Black, dark, sinister

And you are home

In a dark miserable cubicle

Of your own misery

Cry now but do not wait to long

To take my hand and see what we can accomplish together

My love, mi amore, ai