Ill-Conceived

Why is it that my plans are so ill-conceived

That my hair is standing on end

From all the mistakes that I've made

For the thoughts of harm

The people I've hurt

Though physically they are standing fine

Are made to last

Those bruises that show up on my face

From all the teasing

And bullying

I've had to go through

For all the times that you made me doubt myself

And all the times that you pushed me down

Only for ME

To do the utmost important thing to do

Which is getting up once more

To do the things that I love

To love things with all my heart

I think that once you try to see the other side of the moon

Then you will understand the one thing that life doesn’t get

The only thing that will make mistakes

Is you

Valhalla

Try as we might,

Try as we may.

Believe as we see,

And do as we dream.

Try to make this world,

Better than a poem,

Strung together with words,

Made by a high schooler.

With words from their own self,

Be with the wind,

Don’t fight it.

And imagine the place that,

Those have fought over,

Over the lands of Valhalla.

The seas,

The currents,

The Breeze,

Our own world is falling,

Help pick it up,

Before it is too late….

Suffocated Hearts

Try not to take this personally,

But all I see,

And all I hear,

Is the sounds of you and your perilous hounds.

Making us all cry,

Out the things that you’d never hear,

Of the things that we’d never be

Continually being suffocating.

Disaster is striking in the hearts that have shattered.

That have screamed out their final goodbyes,

Their sorrows,

Their pain,

Their loneliness,

This is the last time that I shall have heard of you,

But you continually hunt me down to shatter me too,

Me and my heart are having too much we might break,

As we lay to rest down in this downcast street.

Untitled

Understanding the not understood,

And taking in what flight can become,

The raw nature of not knowing and,

Taking in that leap of faith that has nothing left .

The trees sway,

And the breeze takes way.

And the water trickles down the slope beyond the eye can see,

As I stand in the wind at the top of the bluff,

Now understanding the not understood.

Tired

I’m tired.

Oh so tired.

That’s the thing though,

Is that the only thing that I ever say to people,

Is the fact of how tired I am.

And what that means to me,

Isn’t that sort of depressing?

How pathetic am I?

The only thing that I can think of to say is my own feelings.

Not taking into consideration of what others think,

Or feel,

Or say.

It’s like this way I don't have to feel.

Just stay away.

And be afraid.

Of the light of day.

And how it shines in my eyes.

And makes me blinded by the light,

Just letting it take me away,

To better days.

War Bodies

She wears it well,

The tunic that her mother and I gave her on her 15th birthday,

She was so majestic.

So heavenly.

I guess that suits her,

An Angel,

My sweet,

Loving,

Beautiful,

Angel.

My daughter,

Sweet Fereshteh.

Who lies in this pitiful soil,

Her hair which was as black as night,

Her eyes as blue as the daytime sky,

She was a beauty.

And now her skin is pale,

Her eyes have lost their shine.

Her voice no more,

The war has gotten her.

My sweet angel,

My sweet girl,

She is lost to me.

But I will weep no more,

For this beautiful,

Young,

Daughter of mine,

Fereshteh will be with Allah forever more.

Floor

Most junkies cripple over and fall to the floor,

Their domain should be on the floor,

But don't discriminate because,

One day,

We will be laid to rest,

In the floor.

War?

How angry could man get?

I mean between the wars and the armies,

Life of anger will be never ending.

A life of painful regrets,

Guilty memories,

And most of all a hellish life

Of madness.

Illegal Aliens

LIfe is sad and most of all disappointing,

It's depressing and sure as hell entertaining.

It might be just the meds that I am taking,

Or the fever that is burning inside me,

The thoughts that I haven't showed myself yet to be.

I just want to tell you this,

That the aliens that have been plaguing our lands,

Making sure that jobs are being taken by them,

And being sure as hell that they are stealing our freedom of a safe world,

And these aliens...

Are the people that my mother before me had come from,

Who she was birthed from.

Who I came from.

And they aren't taking the freedom from our lives,

Or taking our jobs from underneath us,

Or making sure that this world is hopeless for us,

So don't tell me that an illegal alien doesn't matter.

Because all lives matter!

And so did she.

Untitled

Sadness and sorrow,

What it is to relive it,

What it is to grow,

Bloom.

Exceed life in every way imaginable,

And finally understand what the world is,

It’s made of hate and cruelty,

And most of all,

Shame.

War Cries

Maybe life should not be all about this madness...

Where the wars are the only thing on everyone’s heads,

The only thing that we can make profit on,

The only thing we worry,

Think,

And act upon.

This war has got our heads turning,

Our thoughts churning,

And bad ideas sworming.

The thought about our cold, hard reality slowly sinks in,

And we are left to be mere tiny husks of what once was.

We are the existence of man,

The experience we have this year is not what we strive for,

But now among others is what we are known for,

No matter the tough things that others try to make up for the sins that we carried.

It can not be met and we cannot regain our composure,

Our lives cannot be trusted.

Among those this war is against,

The people we call aliens.

Whom are no different than ourselves,

But who are different because of the fact,

That they come from outside our borders,

And have no certification to be in these lands.

And yet they come,

To set our world into chaos,

But acting upon the will of wanting to be saved,

To be free.

To be calmed.

To be where the hell isn’t.

Otherwise known as...

Cured.

Hardest

Hardest

See the reason why I am not here making a difference,

Is because of the people who told me that I wasn’t special.

That I wasn’t careful,

That I wasn’t able to become the person that I wasn’t.

That life wasn't to be created in a world full of hate,

That my life wasn't special.

It was just insignificant,

I was just lonely,

I was broken,

I was only a little girl thinking that the hardest thing was seeing her die.

I loved and I thought I could handle it,

But now it is just depression and that is the hardest thing to take in…

It hurts now that I can’t see,

I can’t feel the pain that I wish that I could feel

Like sadness and loneliness,

All I feel is like I scarred my mind,

Like I flashed into sorrow and couldn’t place things.

That I couldn’t understand my placing,

That I couldn’t recall my imaginary input.

That I couldn’t recall my self image,

Or what I looked like on the outside,

Nor could I feel what was happening on the inside.

Now I just sit there.

Imagining things,

Taking time to imagine a life where I could be the greatest,

Not broken.

Not lonely.

Just a life where I could be happy,

Where my life is not in shambles,

Not where I am taking orders from people that don't believe in me,

A place that I could make my own with only two ideas.

Sadness doesn't exist,

And neither does loneliness,

Does that mean that all this time my depression was nothing?

Was I just sitting in someone's shadow?

Or was I feeling an others emotion?

Was this me?

The one in the mirror staring back at me,

The one with the bags under her eyes,

Staring at me.

Just staring in wonder...

Was this me?

The one with the crooked teeth,

The one with no one else with me,

Was this me?

WHY?

WHY?

Why am I this way?

Is it because of my life?

Is it because of the people in my family?

Is it because of the death that I have seen?

Or is it because that I have seen too much?

The days that flew by

Were only because of the fact of love

And I took too much and didn't give enough back

See now where I am

Not supposed to be here

Not supposed to be anywhere

See where I am now,

I am somewhere where I can’t be found.

Imagine Days

Imagine Days

Imagine your days

Imagine a view

That looks like daylight is through a colored film

When it is only the sun changing sides

On west then east

On the side of the sea it looks green

And on the side of the desert it looks red

My mind seeks answers

Only to be questioned by the brilliant minds of science.

Violet

Violet

See that girl?

The one in the beanie.

The one who no one knows.

Who was never known,

Do you know her?

The girl that everyone hates.

The one who has hair in front of her eyes always,

The one who is invisible.

The girl without friends.

Do you see her?

The girl with straight black hair.

The girl with powers past imaginable strengths.

The one who is never seen,

Nor understood.