Untitled

All the things that I have tried to word
Out in my life
Are things that I have yet to accomplish
The regrets trail down my face
In a fashion that looks as if I am crying
The ink-stained mess on my blemish free face
The colorless pale skin that I once thought was hideous
Now looks pretty along with the lines of words that are
Worded out on my pretty face

That face that makes me worried as I look in the mirror
That face that makes me sad and angry
Depressed and sullen

The depression and regrets fall over me like a blanket
A warm blanket that cools my inner voices
And sets it to a small hum
A hum that is so tiny in tune that you can barely hear the voice that is speaking
That voice that is too small I can't even bear to think about it anymore
Just thinking the things that I once thought of so long ago

Now I am no more than a sobbing mess
That lays on the floor in heartache

And sadness that clings to me like wet clothes
As if drenched by the rain that pours down my face
The tears that stain my perfect face

The imperfectness scares me and makes me vulnerable
And makes the inner voices loud and painful
The more painful it gets the more I am scared

And then something happens

A bright light of warmth and familiarness sets my skin on fire
And I am brought face to face with you
You are the person that watched me since I was young
The person that would care for me each and every day
The only thing that I could get up for in the end

Because now I am standing on feet that I could never stand on
The feet that collapsed one day making me a sad mess of limbs and tears on the ground

And now the only person that I can think of is you
You
The one that leaves me be
But comes in when I am crying
The one that becomes me when there is danger near
The me that I couldn't be
You are me
And I am you
Nameless
Yet you do have a name
The only one that could be like me
The only one that could see through my eyes
I write this to you
My conscience

Ill-Concieved

Why is it that my plans are so ill-conceived

That my hair is standing on end

From all the mistakes that I've made

For the thoughts of harm

The people I've hurt

Though physically they are standing fine

Are made to last

Those bruises that show up on my face

From all the teasing

And bullying

I've had to go through

For all the times that you made me doubt myself

And all the times that you pushed me down

Only for ME

To do the utmost important thing to do

Which is getting up once more

To do the things that I love

To love things with all my heart

I think that once you try to see the other side of the moon

Then you will understand the one thing that life doesn’t get

The only thing that will make mistakes

Is you

Understanding Me

Why is it that whenever I try

Speak

Scream

I feel as though my voice doesn’t reach you

Try to understand my pain

My misery of the voice in the back of my head

Telling me

That you are no good for me

That you have no idea what I am going through

I don’t understand what this is doing to me

What this doing to our lives

What I am turning into

The love from my body is gone

Gone down somewhere

Where I can't reach no more

And I can't read the stained lines that line my head

Making me scream with a bloodcurdling voice

That I can't wake up from

Why is it that I can't see you anymore

That I can't understand the pain

That I can't love anymore

Why is this happening

I don’t understand.

Understanding You

Why is it that I can't understand

That I can't understand what you try to say to me

And all the things you try to pass on to me and my misfortunate self

What are these things on paper you try to give to me

These things that are scribbles on paper that don’t make a word

The flaps of paper that don’t make a sound in the wind

I am your Miko for your wishes

I stand at the shrine for you to come back to

The place where we were the same

I am your Miko

What are these scribbles on paper

These little sutras of ink

These little mascots on paper

I can swear that you try to make me keen on interest of you

But I can listen and listen well

There are the bells that I listen to

The ones that I purify you with

But don’t listen to me

Don’t listen to the things that I can't bring forth

I liked the days we could be

The times that we were just kids

The times that we played

Now we r a group who doesn’t understand the things that adults say

But I am your Miko for things to come true

Wish with me the wished that is in your heart

The ones that I couldn’t ever do

Let's go to the shrine together

Forevermore

A/N: This is just something that I thought up after seeing an anime. Eventually, I will re-write this, but I like how it sounds... sorta

WHY?

That ship has sailed

No more

No less

Will I capture you

You and your hotheadedness

The reflection of tears in the ducts of your eyes

The simple mirrored image

Will this be the end

Of our cat and mouse chase

The drinks we shared

The memories we made

The fights that broke out into all-out wars

This plague of existence

Makes me feel insecure and frivolous

And at the end of the tunnel

It's not a white illuminating light

It’s a dark inferno of hell

Where our sins have placed us

The Fate Pt. 2

They who say we meddle,

In the lives in which we fought for,

For the silent rebellions, we shared,

The people we cared to look out for,

The children we protected-not-scared,

They tell us now that,

The war will cost you everything,

Not make you a millionaire for the trouble you had to go to,

But to sit on the underside of the bridges and streets.

No money from the war goes to you.

No compensation for the lives you saved,

No compensation for the merciless villains you came across that almost killed you,

No compensation for the lives you witnessed was lost...

Just a knock on your door that says goodbye.

To Vietnam,

To family,

To having the one chance at survival of war,

When others did not.

A day to grieve.

That is a fallen man's dream...

Unopened

I am one of those people

Who is standing in front of you

No reason showing you my gun

No faces

No jokes

Just me in my cloak

From head to toe

All in red

The beads of sweat roll down my head

Making my face a laughingstock

Of sinners who have recovered

Who have been there

Who has seen it

Watched it

Unfold before their eyes have ever opened

In justice do we really trust

The people who keep us safe

Who periodically seem to make us miserable from the lies they tell

The peoples' secrets they uncover

Making us unstable

And there is no room for misjudgment.