The Pain of Thera

The Pain of Thera

When pain is disrupted
But a dull ache ensues
And the heart that once longed
Now ripples and is moved

The drifter that once spoke
Untold stories of hope and demise
Crushed by a lone sailor
Who cherished and cried

The stories were told
Both from far and close
The tales were of old lands 
Whose names were just but cold

Those rulers took pages
Of an old book and read
To the people who needed answers
Only filled with dread

“Here lies Thera,
Both true and powerful,
Unique but disturbed,
A place of longing,
And a person who wills the freedom of man”

The unjust crime she committed
Those who knew her vowed vengeance
Upon the rulers who took
Plundered

And swore that peace shall never return

Those days may look bleak

But never have persevered
Such undeniable power
For the power is not distant nor foul
For this untimely sacrifice
Is for the pain not yet showed

This is how the tales were told
Through the drifters mouth 
And the sailors hymns
Through this way
Her story would be
And forevermore will it say

That Thera was
And will always be
The mend to the break
And the righteous power to the ‘T’

For her name shall ring
Be true and taught
Through every school house
Church
And town

Her Pain shall move
And bend
And break
The hearts forever shall it weep 

I love You

Roses are red

Violets are blue

 If I had one to love

It would only be you

The days start warm

The nights will be cold

Then whatever way I spend with you

Our fun will never be old

For I look forward to new days and new ways together

Because I believe in us

For we will always be forever... I love u...

When is: neither forever or never

If I would choose forever or never... 

The answer will always be when... 

For forever is always and never is none.. 

But when will be current and true and when never and forever become together becuase forever and never have always been ever...

Then I will see our love will blooms true... 

For until then I will be ever in the way my heart yearns for you

Missing You

I miss you, its a thing that I will always say, No matter the time spent apart, or being with you for a day then needing to go home for thats how it will be for this moment, 

I miss you, but bit by bit you will realize that you too misses me... but maybe not the same wayfor the sayings that I say of 'I miss you' will be because of the everlasting glow I always seem to have in your presence and your sense of pride you have for me, 

I miss the radiant lingering smiles that I take for granted in the moment, the secret laughs we share, your ever present fears as well as mine disappear when we are together unless a dark and tragic secret delves into my soul to spy on our greatest accomplishment of love... 

But then I do truly miss you because my love is based on who we are and how I love us...

 our moments... 

our hardships... 

The people we are together and apart, and most of all the time i am looking forward to together... 

For missing someone is more than just a simple, farewell or good morning, for missing someone is not a careless phrase of i simply want to see them,

 It's more of a feeling of wanting and needing, a feeling that is only gone when you are near them, and forever i will continue to feel since when i am alone i consistently want to be with you... 

In your warm embrace being cuddled and protected... 

For I feel safe with you and I hope you feel safe with meas well....

For I love you truly earnestly and whole-heartedly...

I and We

In the word heart there is no 'I' 

But in relationship there are two,

 Never in my heart but always in a relationship, 

Thats how it always has been, but with you? Something that has never been there, but listens in between a small melody that floats between two souls, 

Thats where you and I will be, floating continuously... until... we will forever be... you and I... 

A living beating relationship with two beating hearts intertwined..

 I love you for u are for me as much as my heart needs to beat, and as much as my body needs oxygen to be... 

And as I could've said before as an introduction 

I chose to be true for my words from my heart are more complex than simple and ur words of love could be differ than similar to mine for our love is here, current and true... for i am me and you are you.... 

I love you for today tomorrow and yesterday... my one and only... 

You are mine....

Gentleman...

Gentleman....
Thats what she thought of him
The smooth way he talked
The classy way his hair sleeked back
And the way he spoke to her

Maybe this gentleman would prove to be something more to her
She thought
These thoughts over took her mind
Because at most present moments
Her work demanded more time
More mind
And more ideas

But all she could think of
All she could remember
Was his smile

The smile of a monotone man
The man with "no emotions"
As some would say

But to her
He was a man who cared for her
Who would exist beside her
Who took her breath away
And sometimes would make her feel like she belonged

So in her mind...
Does she tell him
Or does she stay silent
Never to come across the bridge
The one she longs for
The one she needs

But one step closer
Maybe even two

He is a gentleman through and through
Because he makes her feel wanted

In reality this gentleman is not the man she thought him to be
With his hair gelled back
And the smooth way he talked

He in her view became more than those words she called him
He became more of a lover than a crush
A man with emotions, not a heartless stick
A person who could understand her troubles...

She thought one last thought:
He is my love for he is mine and I am his

SHADOWS LURK OF MY PAST, FORWARD MY LOVE

I don't know why

But I always have been

Afraid of the 

Dark so 

Passionately

And once in a blue Moon

Will I really admit

That I am actually very scared of you

You

My shadow

That lurks behind me 

Analyzing my every move

Every step

Every touch

Every song I sing 

Every note that I play

Will I ever get less judgement from you

You who sighs quietly behind a titled palm

Who hears every quiet 

Wail I let go of

In the ever so endlessly less than imaginable

Darkness

Behind the eyes do I really see the figurative 

Black, inky, dark, uncompassionate, sinister, cruel

Fate of those who have no--where else to go

Except to accept

The fate of which they have brought themselves

They say to be slaughtered by a figment

Will only bring you more harm

Than an imagination controlled

So maybe my shadow isn't in my mind

Or outside my body

Lying on the floor 

Maybe it is my future

To lie in wait in the depths of my conscious

Barely awake 

Seeing the unseen

And making this world bigger than it actually is

For this world is less than a dot on paper

It is more idiotic

Than a single dot on canvas selling 

For a mere $100,000,000,000

But in the end is it only in my head

The voices

That scream at the top of their lungs for mercy

As I hear the *chop* *chop* *chop*

And the ringing of the blade as it slips out of their hand

Onto the block

The last breath slowly exhales 

Maybe oh so maybe

This is the end for me

But 

As I wake up

I am reminded that the death that I seek

Is not in the ground

Or in fire

Or in a tube waiting for my next life

It is to be aware of myself without my other half

This shadow that I call a 

Foe, enemy, scandal

This is for sure my 

Reincarnation, my sister, my life

For without it 

I couldn't have over--come the hardships I have faced

This death is painless

But for now

It is painful 

Because I must leave you for the next

World of unimaginable fates to unravel

Sayonara, farewell

For this is not the end or the next

It is and for always be in the back of your head

The shadow for which you are terrified of 

Is the past you

In a different time frame

Of different memories

Or a different life

This is you but different, changed, annulled

For you are an entity that has an “old soul”

And you are soulless 

Black, dark, sinister

And you are home

In a dark miserable cubicle

Of your own misery

Cry now but do not wait to long

To take my hand and see what we can accomplish together

My love, mi amore, ai

?

I put my heart on the line so you could read fine,
I put my hand up to say that I need you,
Cast aside like case and point...
Your life must be better than mine,
So can I say that you will be just fine?
Or will it be me,
A line and sinker
Down to the middle and away.




















A/N: I just needed to write something so I have no idea what this was.

My Question...

"You've stolen my heart
yet you gave me another,
you took my breath
and now I can live longer,
my words I cannot keep
I can give you my answer"

My answer is this
as I stand before you,
would you take me as I am,
as I look,
or will I be forever cast aside?

Down the neverending street
that remains its name as
"Forgotten"

Walker Evans, Assignment, Subway Portraits

An interpretation a person could make: Today was just a day. A day to come and a day to end. A subway car filled to the brim. Two men sit side by side, as asleep as one could be. They take the breaths with the beat of their hearts. Synchronized beats of the heart to the breath sounds to the silent snores. A simple but easy fix would be to adjust oneself posture, but as still as can be and as asleep as can be, lie the two men. I wish I was asleep for I would be dreaming of the wonders that this world has to offer. But nothing is quite as it seems, for those two, they are sitting, waiting for the next stop for the next place to reside, to work, to live, or to sleep. The current place is a subway car, rushing, madly running to the next destination.



A/N: This is an assignment that we were supposed to do for my class in Photo 120, at Palomar College. I think that this is probably one of my favorite extra credit assignments because we were supposed to narrate a photograph and make up something to go along with it. 

Worth Waiting For

In the colors of the fire,
I can assume that there is a heart within the heat,
The flames bring out the passion that I see in her eyes.
Instead of the alpine green that makes her eyes seem bright when in light,
I swear that the only thing standing between me and her,
Would be a maze of high neverending walls,
With her in the middle.
In irritation, my face is red almost like no other,
The maze making me feel trapped, as though there was no escape.
The only thing that calms me is imagining her ginger hair,
Flowing wildly in the wind,
Calming the raging storm inside of me.
I can remember seeing her, in her yellow rain jacket,
Splashing through puddles in the rain.
Maybe it was my fault for yelling at her,
Telling her that she couldn't bring any more mud inside the house,
Maybe that's why she's so sad all the time.
If I had just apologized maybe the worst could not have happened.

Inching toward my destination,
I reach a steep incline that seems like a mountain.
The town receding behind me,
Looking much like a combined blur of houses and trees.
The vast amount of space in front of me is cream-colored.
Not the purple hues that I saw earlier in my trek when searching for my heart.

I swear that the picture-perfect person that I saw was not the same,
It was not one and the same as the saying says.
It is at most a similar being but not the same person.

I reach to my senses and see that I am coming through the maze to the end,
And not sadly at all my walk was finished,
I looked down,
And underneath me was the same babbling brook,
That kept on me on my toes,
Making sure that I would walk the path of life with no regrets.

I think I will remember the most,
My heart,
The being with the red flowing locks of hair, 
The being I made up,
But care about most in my life.
I think you were worth waiting for...

Adrenaline

Adrenaline brought me back to you

The time where you almost died

I ran faster than the wind

Faster than my body could keep up

And yet now I can hear in my ears the whisper still

Of how you needed me

“Help me…. I Love you”

I needed just those words to appear

Next to you where I always will forever be

Next to you

In the depth of darkness

In the oasis of light

And the medley of everything in-between

I swear on my calming breath to this day

That I would remain yours forever

Unrequited love story

I swear it to my death that it will be true

One may say that the day I die

Will be the same day that you see me

My true colors

Being the most indefinite thing that I cannot talk about.

The true story of my love for you

The millions of billions of emotions I can spell for you

L-O-V-E

A-L-M-O-S-T

T-A-K-E-N

O-V-E-R

But the simplest of announcements cannot make you mine

Cannot be the closest I can be to you

Or the most tangible memory of mine can make you

Truly

Mine

A/N: This is a small little poem which I took a writing prompt from this website:

https://thinkwritten.com/365-creative-writing-prompts/

I hope that you liked it!

Untitled

All the things that I have tried to word
Out in my life
Are things that I have yet to accomplish
The regrets trail down my face
In a fashion that looks as if I am crying
The ink-stained mess on my blemish free face
The colorless pale skin that I once thought was hideous
Now looks pretty along with the lines of words that are
Worded out on my pretty face

That face that makes me worried as I look in the mirror
That face that makes me sad and angry
Depressed and sullen

The depression and regrets fall over me like a blanket
A warm blanket that cools my inner voices
And sets it to a small hum
A hum that is so tiny in tune that you can barely hear the voice that is speaking
That voice that is too small I can't even bear to think about it anymore
Just thinking the things that I once thought of so long ago

Now I am no more than a sobbing mess
That lays on the floor in heartache

And sadness that clings to me like wet clothes
As if drenched by the rain that pours down my face
The tears that stain my perfect face

The imperfectness scares me and makes me vulnerable
And makes the inner voices loud and painful
The more painful it gets the more I am scared

And then something happens

A bright light of warmth and familiarness sets my skin on fire
And I am brought face to face with you
You are the person that watched me since I was young
The person that would care for me each and every day
The only thing that I could get up for in the end

Because now I am standing on feet that I could never stand on
The feet that collapsed one day making me a sad mess of limbs and tears on the ground

And now the only person that I can think of is you
You
The one that leaves me be
But comes in when I am crying
The one that becomes me when there is danger near
The me that I couldn't be
You are me
And I am you
Nameless
Yet you do have a name
The only one that could be like me
The only one that could see through my eyes
I write this to you
My conscience

Ill-Concieved

Why is it that my plans are so ill-conceived

That my hair is standing on end

From all the mistakes that I've made

For the thoughts of harm

The people I've hurt

Though physically they are standing fine

Are made to last

Those bruises that show up on my face

From all the teasing

And bullying

I've had to go through

For all the times that you made me doubt myself

And all the times that you pushed me down

Only for ME

To do the utmost important thing to do

Which is getting up once more

To do the things that I love

To love things with all my heart

I think that once you try to see the other side of the moon

Then you will understand the one thing that life doesn’t get

The only thing that will make mistakes

Is you

Understanding Me

Why is it that whenever I try

Speak

Scream

I feel as though my voice doesn’t reach you

Try to understand my pain

My misery of the voice in the back of my head

Telling me

That you are no good for me

That you have no idea what I am going through

I don’t understand what this is doing to me

What this doing to our lives

What I am turning into

The love from my body is gone

Gone down somewhere

Where I can't reach no more

And I can't read the stained lines that line my head

Making me scream with a bloodcurdling voice

That I can't wake up from

Why is it that I can't see you anymore

That I can't understand the pain

That I can't love anymore

Why is this happening

I don’t understand.

Understanding You

Why is it that I can't understand

That I can't understand what you try to say to me

And all the things you try to pass on to me and my misfortunate self

What are these things on paper you try to give to me

These things that are scribbles on paper that don’t make a word

The flaps of paper that don’t make a sound in the wind

I am your Miko for your wishes

I stand at the shrine for you to come back to

The place where we were the same

I am your Miko

What are these scribbles on paper

These little sutras of ink

These little mascots on paper

I can swear that you try to make me keen on interest of you

But I can listen and listen well

There are the bells that I listen to

The ones that I purify you with

But don’t listen to me

Don’t listen to the things that I can't bring forth

I liked the days we could be

The times that we were just kids

The times that we played

Now we r a group who doesn’t understand the things that adults say

But I am your Miko for things to come true

Wish with me the wished that is in your heart

The ones that I couldn’t ever do

Let's go to the shrine together

Forevermore

A/N: This is just something that I thought up after seeing an anime. Eventually, I will re-write this, but I like how it sounds... sorta

WHY?

That ship has sailed

No more

No less

Will I capture you

You and your hotheadedness

The reflection of tears in the ducts of your eyes

The simple mirrored image

Will this be the end

Of our cat and mouse chase

The drinks we shared

The memories we made

The fights that broke out into all-out wars

This plague of existence

Makes me feel insecure and frivolous

And at the end of the tunnel

It's not a white illuminating light

It’s a dark inferno of hell

Where our sins have placed us

The Fate Pt. 2

They who say we meddle,

In the lives in which we fought for,

For the silent rebellions, we shared,

The people we cared to look out for,

The children we protected-not-scared,

They tell us now that,

The war will cost you everything,

Not make you a millionaire for the trouble you had to go to,

But to sit on the underside of the bridges and streets.

No money from the war goes to you.

No compensation for the lives you saved,

No compensation for the merciless villains you came across that almost killed you,

No compensation for the lives you witnessed was lost...

Just a knock on your door that says goodbye.

To Vietnam,

To family,

To having the one chance at survival of war,

When others did not.

A day to grieve.

That is a fallen man's dream...

Unopened

I am one of those people

Who is standing in front of you

No reason showing you my gun

No faces

No jokes

Just me in my cloak

From head to toe

All in red

The beads of sweat roll down my head

Making my face a laughingstock

Of sinners who have recovered

Who have been there

Who has seen it

Watched it

Unfold before their eyes have ever opened

In justice do we really trust

The people who keep us safe

Who periodically seem to make us miserable from the lies they tell

The peoples' secrets they uncover

Making us unstable

And there is no room for misjudgment.